I don't think it is much of a secret that I love a fresh start. I love spring for all the possibilities it will bring when the soil begins to swell and the hope that my yard will look just like I want it this year. I love a fresh snowfall in the winter where everything is so quiet and so pure. I love mornings when the sun peeks in and the house is quiet before the chaos that is my life sets in. I love new beginnings and new years resolutions are a part of that. It gives me the opportunity to look at my life and stop literally stop and force myself to count my blessings and make plans to deepen roots and better myself so that I can start anew, both spirtiually and with my time and planning.
As I look forward to this new year it is no coincidence that I write this while on Paternity Leave that my goals center around my family. I am proud to be a husband and father to 4 beautiful kids and it is something that I once questioned if it would even happen. I came across a scripture while I was reading in the Book of Mormon that had never seemed significant to me before but as I read it this time it's words shone from the pages and I thought...This...this is my life goal. This is what and who I want to become. In 1 Nephi 17:2 Nephi is reflecting on the trials but also the blessings his family has had while they traveled for years through the wilderness in pursuit of the Promise Land. He states "...and they began to bear their journeying without murmurings". It still strikes a chord with me as I write this because I see myself and I think, am I doing this? Am I bearing the journey here on earth without murmuring? I think my tired mind so often gets lost in the journey, in the sleepless nights and constant complaining of the little ones, the pressures of providing for a family and the demands that I put on myself that I don't see the overwhelming blessings that surround me at every turn. One of my favorite quotes states "Promise me you won't spend so much time treading water and trying to keep your head above the water that you forget, truly forget, how much you love to swim". One goal I have for 2017 and indeed my life is to "bear my journeying without murmuring". I want to see the time spent wrestling on the floors with my girls and their laughter as the most important task. I want to see a counter filled with dirty little bowls and cups as an answered prayer that I prayed for so long ago. I want to see a garden that needs weeding as the Lord's way of letting me meditate and ponder the important things.
I have felt a knocking lately from the spirit telling me I need to remember who I am and where I come from. Part of this is knowing and preserving a record of my own life and this is one thing that has helped me over the years to step back and look at the journey and find the blessings. I want to strive to be better about writing down my life and the sweet lives of my girls and growing boy that we can all remember this time and build on the memories it will provide. I also want to preserve a record of my parents and their lives. In my Patriarical Blessing it states that one of the greatest blessings that the Lord gave me was my parents and that they are my best friends, which is true. I want to make sure that my kids and grandchildren also know who these two great people are and how much they shaped me into the man I am today. Besides it gives me the opportunity to learn more about who they are as well and what their perspectives where when they were in the thick of it like I am...what were their doubts and fears and their goals and aspirations. I'm looking forward to further strengthening the bonds I also have with them.
2017 is also the year that I turn the BIG 40. I know some people dread this but I am strangly giddy about it. I'm excited for the milestone and I'm excited for what is to come. I have been thinking a lot lately of doing something in my life to commemerate my 40 years and I'm not thinking something like a cruise or Disneyland, although that would be fun (hint hint Anna) rather something more meaningful. As I have thought about this I have come up with a way for me to look back on my years here on earth and count each blessing. I have decided to write 40 letters to 40 different people who have helped shape me into who I am today. I think everyone wants to be seen and wants to know that they have made a difference to someone and this is my chance to let them know how much they have made a difference to me. Some individuals have made big impacts while others have made an impact on me without even knowing it or them even trying and many will have no clue that simply by living their lives they have changed me for the better.
I also have the goal of holding Family Home Evening each week. For Christmas this year I gave Anna the gift of a whole year of FHE's planned out and all the materials we would need to have them with little effort the day of. It was something that she had wanted for awhile and it has been great to see the girls look forward to Monday's and to be honest I have as well.
Every year I have set the goal for myself to read 12 books or one book a month and for the past two years I have achieved this goal with ease with one glaring hole in my book list. I haven't read the Book of Mormon front to back in a long time and instead of beating myself up about it I'm just going to do as Elder Holland counciled and start where I am and I have started reading the Book of Mormon from the beginning and will have it completed by the end of the year. I am also keeping a journal to record those things that stick out to me like the life goal I found in 1 Nephi 17.
That's it this year. I don't want some long unobtainable list but rather one that will make me take stock in who I really am and where I really want to be at the end of 2017. I look forward to building new relationships and strengthening old ones. I look forward to inspiration found in the voices of those who have come before me whether it was 30 years or 2000 years ago. I am simply looking forward to life, the mess, the chaos and the joy that comes with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment