How would you like to be remembered?

This has been a tough one to start with and I think that I am making it more complicated than it needs to be because I start thinking of how I would want to be remembered by co workers/neighbors/family/kids and then when I stopped and realized that it should be the same for all of them shouldn’t it?  So this is my best crack at how I would like to be remembered.

     I want to be remembered as someone who knew how to love unconditionally and wasn’t afraid to show it.  As someone who loved his wife passionately to the embarrassment of my kids and adoration of my grand kids.  I want to have my kids know that no matter what mountains they may face in their life that they are loved by their dad and always have a soft place to come home to and feel his love literally wrap around them.  I want to be known as a family man who loved and placed his family above all else…I never realized until this moment what a compliment that title imbues.  I want to be known as someone who never judged people because of their faults but rather loved them for their strengths even when they couldn’t see them for themselves. 

     I want to be remembered as someone who was always growing.  Someone who constantly was learning new techniques in gardening or how to paint or in my career but as someone who was finding passion in life in one way or another.  
     I want to be remembered as someone who knew how to laugh and make other people laugh.  Not the in your face always putting on a show kind of funny but rather sees the humor in the everyday and diffuses situations and breaks down barriers with people sort of way.  I want to be remembered as someone who could let things go...that didn't hold grudges but was quick to forgive and forget both in others and himself.  I want to be remembered as being kind...again a powerful word when you stop to think about it.
     I want most of all to be remembered as a man who honored his priesthood.  As someone who KNEW the Lord and didn't doubt but moved forward in his life with confidence. I want it to be said that I loved the Lord and that people could see this because my actions in my everyday proved this love.  I want it said that I didn't make people stand in my shadow but helped push them into the light!  I guess if I were to sum it up in one statement I would want to be remembered as someone who loved and was loved in return.

Homefront Message for March/My goodbye message

As members of the Church or Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we are blessed to have modern day prophets who guide us as we fight our daily battles and overcome our mountains.  In the last conference address we heard from Elder Holland about the First Great Commandment:  “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.”  Jesus said “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”  Elder Holland broke down how we can show our love to the Savior into these simple truths, “We have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can’t quit and we can’t go back.”  Elder Hales in this same conference stated, “For many, the call to be a Christian can seem demanding, even overwhelming. But we need not be afraid or feel inadequate. The Savior has promised that He will make us equal to His work. “Follow me,” He said, “and I will make you fishers of men.”

              

       I believe that everyone asks at one time or another in their life, “Am I doing my part?  Am I showing my love for the Savior by being a fisher of men?”  In one of my favorite musicals, Wicked, there is a song whose lyrics state a simple truth “I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we let them, and we help them in return.  Well, I don't know if I believe that's true but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you...”  Brothers and sisters I know that each of us if facing our own challenges and that we all are in different places in our lives so whether you feel like you are drowning or in a phase of soaring—might I encourage you to do a little more.  To say a kind word or make that phone call you have been putting off, to double that dinner recipe for a friend, to hold that crying baby for awhile, to forgive yourself and let past pains and offenses go.  I also know that at times we feel as if we are drowning and it is taking everything in us just to keep our own heads above water let alone tending to others needs.  Elder Uchtdorf stated, “God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect!  Let me add, God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.  And yet, we spend so much of our time and energy comparing ourselves to others…usually comparing our weakness to their strengths.  As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less then what someone else does.”  Please know that your efforts to work on the Lord’s behalf are noted in Heaven and on earth and that they are appreciated and that we love you for them.  I know that I am truly who I am today because of each of you.  Thank you.

Let the questions begin!

I recently read a question in a survey about building a happy family that’s answer surprised me. 

Q.  When a team of psychologists measured children’s resilience, they found that the kids who __________ were best able to handle stress.

a.  Ate the same breakfast every day

b.  Knew the most about their family history

c. Played team sports

d.  Attended regular religious services

A.  (b) The more children know about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives and the higher their self-esteem.  The reason:  These children have a strong sense of “inter-generational self”—they understand that they belong to something bigger than themselves, and that families naturally experience both highs and lows.  

This got me thinking (okay let’s be honest I am in so many meetings in my life right now and it wasn’t so much as me concentrating on this question rather my mind was probably wandering when I should have been focusing on something else…anyways back to what I was thinking) that I want my girls to know who I am and what struggles I have had and how I have overcome them and what joys I have had besides the basic BIG moments in everyone’s lives.  So for Family Home Evening this past week I prepared a lesson on the importance of telling our stories.  With B now entering the blogging world and me committed to keeping my own up to date for my parents while they are on their missions I thought it would provide the perfect opportunity to tell our stories.  So to do this each week we are going to answer a question…just one (trust me it won’t be so easy as it sounds).  These can be anything from What is your favorite holiday? to If you could relive any one day in your life what day would it be and why?  I was inspired to do this because years ago my mom put together a book for my sister where both my mom and my grandma answered questions about themselves.  I will never forget my grandma’s words on when she first met my grandpa.  She said “he was a handsome brute”…isn’t that great.  I want my kids, grandkids etc. to know me from my own mouth.  So stay tuned and we both will probably learn a lot about who I am.

 

Lessons Learned

Life remains busy…in fact I told B that I feel like a candle burning at both ends held over a fire with kids poking me with sticks between Bishopric, work, and trying to get Oak Hollow ready for us to move in which with two little girls can be difficult to say the least.  To top it all off we just found out that our renters will not be renewing their contract in May so add in trying to get our Townhouse rented to the mix and it is like throwing another log on the bonfire…I guess we can either burn ourselves out or crack out the marshmallows and enjoy the heat!  I’ll be honest; B is much better at enjoying the moments as I run around with a flaming marshmallow on my stick trying not to catch on fire.

This past week, although trying, became a week of answers to me. 

On Friday our youth was assigned to do baptisms for the dead at the Bountiful Temple.  I had to show up early with the Recommend book in case anyone forgot their recommend which usually happens.  As I sat in the lobby I decided it was the perfect time to study and read the story of Alma the older as I had been impressed to do for months and the story kept coming up from other people to the point I knew the Lord was trying to tell me something.  As I read the story I was astounded by the similarity of the story to my current situation in almost every detail.  I read with fascination that Alma was possibly writing this for my exact situation.  I read about how Alma under the persecution of Amulon was blessed to be able to bear the burden placed on him until gaining deliverance but what stood out to me was the verse Mosiah 24: 15 “…the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord”.  I realized that although I have been submitting to His will I haven’t been doing so cheerfully…time to change again.

Then on Sunday I had a special moment in sacrament meeting.  As you know I have been frustrated with work and B and I have been praying for a new job and direction from the Lord.  I have felt and have faith that He is working on something for me and my dad gave me a blessing that stated the same.  In confidence I have been able to move forward with faith only in time to be dragged back down into the mire as I lose faith and question (in I’m sure a whiney voice) where the Lord is and what I should be doing to move this whole process along.  Well, let’s get back to Sunday…one of our new members was giving a talk based on the talk “The First Great Commandment” by Elder Holland.  In the talk Elder Holland discusses how many of the twelve apostles went back to fishing after the death of the Savior because they lost their way on the direction they should go much as I get lost in the mire and lose faith in my own direction.  The Savior appears to these fishermen and asks Peter if he loves Him three times to which Peter of course says yes.  This is the part that got me and I’m going to substitute my own name in here so you understand what I was feeling as I heard this talk on Sunday.  The Savior then said (in Elder Holland’s own words) “Then [Daniel], why are you here?  Why are we back on this shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation?”  I was overwhelmed by the spirit the moment I heard this statement as I felt the Lord was speaking directly to me.  He was stating that he had proved himself in my past that he is working things out for my good and continues to reassure me that he is doing so now so why then must he on a daily basis reconfirm this for me not to lose hope.  What a sobering but needed lesson and I pray that I can do my part to stay the course and not lose hope and faith in his efforts. 

So new goal:  Have faith and remain cheerful in my assurance that the Lord is working for my good!

Oak Hollow continues to move along at a slow and steady pace.  We finally got the playroom done so that as we work we can hopefully leave our girls in there to play.  It was great on Saturday because I was able to hang out with the girls while B painted until her heart was content.  We have all the electrical done and have painted the ceiling in the kitchen and family room.  I spent 5 hours on Monday prepping the walls in the family room to get painted.  Believe it or not the room looks like it was attacked by a paint gun because I have patched all the holes and nicks in the wall and sanded a hundred times. Then we finally got to painting those walls and let's just say "Color Match" by Home Depot doesn't work so well but we didn't discover the problem until  we had stripped all the tape from the walls...lesson learned and moving forward.