Missing....

***Dear Reader...please know that I have always tried to be honest with myself and others about the highs and the lows in life.  Please don't judge me on my weaknesses but know that this is one way in which I can express where I am but also show that everyone has their times.  I am not perfect and will never be perfect but I am climbing my mountains not so I can be seen by the world but so that by climbing I can better see.***


I remember hearing my sister tell me a story about a family who were caught in traffic because of an accident up ahead on Christmas day and the mom saying "how horrible to have this tragedy for this family on Christmas" only to get closer and realize it was her kids car and it was her tragedy. Life can change in an instant and this week, as I sat at my desk on a conference call, I got a phone call from my mom which I couldn't take.  After I hung up I remembered to call her back and she said "your dad's in the hospital...we think he had a heart attack".  Stomach Drop!  Here was my tragedy.


My dad is recovering from a mild heart attack and after having a stint put in and blockage cleared they said he should be fine and can resume normal life...but in my mind I just about lost a best friend who I talk to and do stuff with every day.  After I got the call and collected myself, after all it could have been a much worse call, I happened to look in the mirror and was startled in that I didn't recognize who I had become.  I'm not saying I didn't recognize the graying at the temples or the stomach that protrudes over my waistline.  I knew those wrinkles by my eyes and was all to familiar with my 'at risk' chin.   What I didn't recognize or like what I saw was the 'me' that was missing.  I felt an immediate urge to put out an Amber Alert or search the sides of milk cartons for the 'me' that I knew was missing. Where was the boy who used to do jigs in the laundry room because he couldn't contain the energy or joy.  Where was the man who used to laugh so hard he would cry and do chair races in the halls with his coworkers.  This 'me' I realized had been missing for some time now and I don't know when he wandered away from camp to be lost in the woods.  How is it that I'm just noticing him missing now?  Why didn't I see him leave in time to call out to him to come back that I needed him to be a better dad and a better husband.  Instead I'm left with this shell and thinking that the best part of me I let go.


It seems these days that I my first response to life's stumbling blocks and let's be honest life's everyday moments is one of anger and impatience.  I live my life, it seems, in a state of anger or sadness with maybe a dash of indifference thrown in for good measure.  I say that I'm trying to find the joy in the journey and everyone is always saying "Cherish these moments because they go so fast" when I'm feeling like I'm knee deep in crap wandering the sewers and once in awhile see the sun thru a storm grate up ahead and think...Life isn't so bad, I can get through this only to trip and go face first into a stinking pool and come up fuming.  My anger is usually unleashed on whoever is closest and easiest to blame and that person is often myself for never being enough.  There is also the anger that my first response IS anger.  My family talks about the Seelos Anger and I see it alive and well in me but wonder when did I let it take control.  Why is it so difficult for me to be happy and to let things go.  When did I let my first response be one of rage. 


I can justify with the best of them.  I can say, and these are honest feelings, that I feel like I'm never heard when I talk by my kids or my wife.  That my choices and wants are put on the back burner because this is just the stage of life we are in and my happiness and needs are the low man on the totem poll.  I can say that I'm tired of everyone having excuses as to why this happens or why they do what they do when just once it would be refreshing for them to say "you are right" rather then turning it back on me and making it my problem or attitude.  I can say that I am tired of people always asking if I am okay when I'm quiet or within myself putting that weight on my shoulders, the burden back on me and it is a burden I am all too happy to take on and internalize and punish myself for later in my own thoughts.  Is this the person that they see me as...is this the person my girls and my dear wife have to live with everyday?  Is it so unusual for me to be happy or content that people's first reaction to me is 'are you mad' or 'what is wrong'? 


I do wonder how other people do it.  How do other people carry the burden of providing for the family and spending time with their kids while getting projects done around the house and yard while staying fit and not being exhausted.  How do they do it?  I am content in my job but thought the amount of money that I'm making would mean a lot freer life then it does.  I try and spend time with my kids but often feel burdened down with the amount that needs to get done at home and often feel the weight that things don't get done or started unless I am there to take them on.  Then after all of this I often feel as if, when I have given my all and sacrificed myself to house and projects and chores that it, no...that I am never enough.  The exhaustion is always present and as I collapse into bed every night I think tomorrow I'm going to be healthy and start working out knowing I just don't have an ounce to give to that now and then I feel ashamed for this overweight blob that I am and think that Anna deserves so much more then this. 


I can hear people now reading this already prescribing their best treatments.  My mom will say I need to go on medication for depression...my sister will say I should be reading my scriptures more and turning to prayer...my wife will internalize it and probably take on the blame making me wish I had never expressed this in the first place and then put me on a diet of quinoa and salad. 


What do I expect?  We have trained each other so well over the years on how to do this dance.  I have trained them what to expect from me.  What I want is to feel like I am enough.  I want to know that this screwed up person that I am right now is enough and is loved even with all my fat and wrinkles and gray hairs.  I want to feel attractive and sexy.  I want to put down the blame and the anger and love more.  I want humor to be my default and laughter to fill my home.  I want to look in the mirror and see someone I know and have the knowledge that I am enough.   I don't want to be handled with kid gloves or have people walk on egg shells around me as upon reading this I have entered a dark place in my life.  These are feelings I have carried with me now for years and I think in light of my dad's heart attack they have come up again and refuse to be ignored.   In the end it falls on me, I know that and only ask that everyone, including myself, have a little patience as I get there. 

I have a favorite feeling...

I am a person who deals with favorites a lot.  I like to know what people enjoy and it helps me realize who they are...What is your favorite movie?  Your favorite Book?  If you could go anywhere where would you go?  Who is your favorite singer?  What is your comfort food?  You happiest memory?...it is in these questions that a person lets you beneath their skin, beneath the persona they are trying to portray and into who they really are.

As I have thought about this I realized that I have a lot of favorites in my life but they are favorites not because of what they are, rather it is because of the feeling they evoke in me.  I have a favorite feeling.  It is summer thunderstorms and open windows.  It is walking barefoot in the garden and the taste of a tomato fresh from the vine.  It is the smell of a roast cooking and a table set for company.  It is the quiet of a house where everyone is napping and nothing needs to get done.  It is the sound of lawnmowers and rainbirds, of falling leaves being blown down the street.  It is yard sale signs and the first sip of a cold soda.  It is pumpkins on porches and an old flag blowing in the breeze.  It is the smell of fireworks, of campfires lingering on your clothes, of geraniums.  It is in small town parades and salt water taffy.  It is the moment when you finish a great book and don't want to return to the real world just yet, but you want to stay with those characters you have grown to love.  It is in the curtains that dance in an unexpected breeze.  It is in an open road ready for an adventure.  It is the silence of slow moving streams where the only sound is of your paddle pushing against the water.  It is crisp evenings where crickets play you their song and the night sky awaits with a quilt of stars.  It is the sight of fruit stands full of bushel baskets teaming with fruit.  It is when you see missionaries on the street or when you hear your dad singing off key in priesthood meeting.  It is the press of hands on your head and words spoken from our Heavenly Father.  It is the arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace so familiar and so known.  Yes, I have a favorite feeling.

Maggie Mae we bless you...

We were so lucky and blessed to be able to hold Maggie's baby blessing this past month.   What a blessing this little girl has been in our life and it was a joy and priveledge to be able to bless her.  Here is her blessing:

Maggie before you came to this earth you were a beloved daughter of our Father in Heaven and as you counseled with Him, He gave you the choice on when you would come down to this earth.  We are thankful that you chose this time and our family to join us here. 

We bless you Maggie that you will feel the love that your parents and your family have for you.  We bless you that throughout your life you will know the power of unconditional love.  That you will feel generations that have come before you and have lived their lives righteously that they could prepare this latter day for you and your family.  You will feel them cheering you on throughout your life.  We bless you that you will have an eternal view as you go throughout your mortal life looking for those generations forward that you will influence and bless with your love.  We bless you that you will feel unconditional love from your parents and your eternal parents as well that you know the power of love and will radiate love to those around you.

We bless you with the power of discernment; to not only see right from wrong and the correct path that you should take but we bless you with the power of discernment to see those that need you and be able to gather them in around you and to lift those fallen spirits. 

We bless you with a great sense of humor Maggie, that you will be able to turn situations on their head.  That you will be able to make people laugh and feel at ease.  Thru this you will be able to gather people to your side to see your smile and bask in your light.  We bless you to be a light in the darkness. 

We bless you Maggie that as you go throughout your life you will often turn to our Father in Heaven.  That you will remember sitting at his feet and counseling with him before this earth.  We bless you that you will speak to Him as if he knelt by your side and you will lay your concerns at his feet and you will hear His voice clearly throughout your life guiding you on the path that you should take. 

We bless you that when the time comes that you will choose to enter into the Temple of our Holy Father and that you will be a righteous daughter.  We bless you to be an example to those around you.  We bless you Maggie to know that you are loved and to always remember that you are surrounded by people who are cheering for you both on this earth and on the other side of the veil.  We bless you with these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.  

It is an interesting thing giving a blessing.  You can only prepare so much as you ponder what you should say and pray for guidance and you may think you will say one thing only to stand up and hold this precious little girl in your arms and say something completely different.  So often when I give blessings I will have so many thoughts come through my head and sometimes while speaking you can even be having a seperate conversation going on in your head in a split second wondering and asking questions on what your mouth is saying.  It is an unusual but also very fulfilling experience.  Often when I am giving blessings, and this is hard to describe, I see images of the person I am giving the blessing for...little snit bits of their lives or their futures or of them doing something and then I try and verbalize what I'm seeing.

So let me share a few of those feelings, promptings and experiences I had while giving Mags her blessing.  (One of my favorite things to do after giving or getting a blessing is to share the 'behind the scenes' if you will with the person I was either giving it to or getting it from.  I often find I get more out of the after conversation then the actual blessing.  Kind of like praying and then waiting for the answer and conversation to happen after the prayer)

I felt very strongly that Maggie was a very valiant spirit in heaven and that she was a blessed daughter of our Father in Heaven who worked because of her good works and her spirit was given the choice by our Father of where and when she would be born.  I almost had a vision of her counseling with our Father in Heaven about this and Him laying out options and saying the good and the bad and where He thought she would grow the most and help those around her the most and I saw her willingly following His counsel, although I felt she was nervous about coming down in the latter days and about leaving His side I almost felt her take a deep breath and give him a hug and take the step.

I felt her connection to her ancestors.  I felt her studying, watching and encouraging them on from the other side as they labored here on earth.  I felt her cheering for them in their triumphs and holding them up in their trials.  I felt them recognising her actions and now that it is her turn they are there cheering her on and repaying her service to them recognizing that she was there in their darkest hours and in their happiest moments.

I felt that she would have a very close relationship with our Father in Heaven.  That the closeness and the comraderie (for lack of a better word) that they had before this earth would continue.  I was almost taken a back and even started to cry as I felt the intimacy that she would have when she prayed to our Father in Heaven and that she would know His voice and would have conversations with Him on a daily basis.  I even thought...she is going to have her aunt Becki's gift and I was so thankful she would have Him so close to her.  Thru this gift I felt that she will have the ability to read people and situations really well and make people feel at ease no matter their background.  She will have a finite percision in reading emotions and have a knack for reaching people that seem unreachable and part of this will be done with her sense of humor.  I felt that she is going to be such a quick wit and take me to the places that I will be laughing so hard I'm crying.

More then anything I felt how connected this little girl and I are going to be which was an answer to my prayer as I have stuggled with a little post partum (if that can happen for men) with her birth and didn't connect as much with her as a newborn.  But this blessing and other experiences have assured my soul that we are going to have a connection, Maggie and I, that I can't wait to forge.

After church we had our families from both sides come over to the house for a dinner.  It had been raining non stop for a week before and we were worried we weren't going to be able to host everyone from both sides of the family inside the house.  Our prayers were heard and we they skies cleared up enough that people were able to flow in and out of the house.

 Maggie took photos with both sets of Grandparents.  My parents above and Anna's below.

 One of the cool things to happen was that Anna's brother Ryan brought his drone with a camera attached which he flew over our house and yard giving us a perfect memory of what our yard and house looked like on this day and from angles I have never seen before.  Here a few of them...

 He flew the drone really high in the air capturing our yards map if you will.

He even flew around the yard a bit giving a more complete view of some of the views I love the most but have never been able to capture on film.

Of course the drone was a big hit and he captured the crowd watching from below.

Payson Temple Open House

Ever since we took our girls thru the Ogden Temple Open House this past year they have been begging to go back to the temple and luckily we are so blessed to live in a state with new temples being built.

We attended the Payson Temple open house with the Badger clan as this will be their new temple and had special meaning to the family for that reason.  It was also an exciting time because Joel, Anna's younger brother, returned from his mission the day before and so we were able to gather as a family and what better place to do that then the Temple.

The temple itself was incredible.  The outside is stone but it is a warm stone that doesn't seem quite real.  Anna even had to go up close and touch it to see if it was real stone.

The theme of this temple is apple orchards (which is Anna's new favorite temple and in my top 3...Bountiful because it is my temple and I took out my endowments there and got married there, Odgen because I love the style of it and now this temple for style and majesty of it.)  Everywhere you looked there were apple blossoms and apples sewn into upholstery or carved into furniture legs or doorframes.  The art glass had leaves with small crystal type apples that increased in frequency the higher you got in the temple.

The main staircase split into two and narrowed as you climbed and my astute wife pointed out 'Straight is the gate and narrow is the way'.

Our girls are excited to go to the next open house which will be the newly refurbished Provo Tabernacle Temple....let the countdown begin.

Teach me to walk in the light...

When Mags was first born and to this day to some extent she had some issues with stomach craps and wouldn't be able to settle down as she was in pain.  Not often, as I'm the first to admit that Anna takes the brunt of our babies, I would take Mags and strap her on my chest and take her for a walk to give Anna a break.  As she lay on my chest crying I would quietly start singing to her and my default for some reason has been 'Teach me to walk in the light'.  She usually would calm down by the second sentence and would quietly get content for the walk.  I think whenever I hear this song now it will remind me of Maggie.

March Service

As you know from previous posts this year we are trying to do at least one act of service a month.  Knowing that March was going to be a busy month for us with Baby Mags coming this month's was a simple gesture to someone who is often overlooked.  We bought a big bag of M&M's and put a note on it for the mail carrier that said..."Thanks for driving 'M'iles & 'M'iles to deliver our mail and put it in the mailbox for them to find when they came to deliver our mail.  The girls loved the simple gesture and watched out the window to make sure he got the gift.  Hopefully he appreciated it as much as we appreciate all he does. 

Finding God in Gardening

So for the past few weeks I have been off of work on 'Paternity Leave' and trying to get things accomplished on my list of chores or tasks.  If I am completely honest with myself, and others, I have learned that having kids constantly around you makes accomplishing things a lot more difficult.  I told Anna that here I have all this time off and thought I would get so much done with all this free time only to realize that it isn't that free.  I find myself working from sun-up to sun-down most nights and get very little accomplished.  If I can get one task done a day....SUCCESS!  No wonder Anna would feel so productive on days when she could get a few things done and I, shamefully would come home from a long day at work and think...well that shouldn't have taken you the whole day. SHAME ON ME!

A large part of me taking paternity when I did was that it would afford us some time to get our yard and home into shape for summer and for hosting family and friends for Maggie's upcoming baby blessing later this month.

Yesterday I woke early and the girls and Anna had gone to swimming lessons so I decided to get the last of the annuals planted.  I sat in the silence and heavenly peace, the kind that you only recognize when you are constantly surrounded by toodlers day in and day out with their screams of delight mixed with their whines and cries of life's injustices (mainly that you won't let them have a treat for the 100th time today...oh the hummanity) and don't even get me started on the hundreds of questions they pepper you with non stop.   Enough of that...back to my peace and quiet.  As I placed and planted the annuals in the flower bed I found myself talking to them as any self respecting gardener does.  I placed an allysum plant at the edge of the bed in between two rocks and as I scraped out the limited soil I found myself saying "I know this doesn't seem like the most ideal spot but trust me when you bloom here you will make such a difference you will be a showstopper".  As I placed some statice plants far in the back of the bed behind all the rest I said "You will have to grow very tall to be seen but I have chosen you for this specific spot because I know you and I know you have it in you and will provide such a backdrop for this bed to shine".  I found myself mixing and matching and seperating flowers from those that they had 'grown' up with and putting them with 'strangers' and saying "I know you don't want to be seperated but these flowers although different then you are perfect in their own way. Learn to get along because you are going to be spending you life together now and much better that you enjoy each other then fight your whole life".

Laugh if you must, I admit writing down my musing even makes me feel a little foolish but as I spoke to my plants both verbally and in my head I was stopped in my tracks as I saw a loving Heavenly Father speaking to each of us individually before we came down here to earth.  To some he would point to a hard part of the world and say this is where you are going only to feel his child shrink in his arms stepping back into safety of his warmth.  Lovingly he might say "I know this doesn't seem like the most ideal spot but trust me when you bloom here you will make such a difference."  He may show others of his children spots that are full of successful beautiful people all making their way and say this is where you get to go only to see their shoulders fall as self doubt would take over their small frames as they began to compare themselves to those around them.  He may squeeze their shoulders and say "You will have to grow very tall to be seen but I have chosen you for this specific spot because I know you and I know you have it in you".  Lastly he may say...this is the earthly family in which you will be born and as eternal beings, we would see our family with all their inperfections and their shortcomings and may look into our loving Heavenly Father's eyes with pleading tears not wanting to leave his perfect state only to hear him say "I know you don't want to be seperated but these children of mine although different then you are perfect in their own way." and he would open our eyes to see our families as he sees us.

Yes, I saw God in gardening yesterday and I am thankful for the moments in my life when my loving Heavenly Father teaches me and shows me glimpses of heaven here on earth.  I felt much like Moses and the burning bush here in my own Oak Hollow.

Dear Maggie...

We were so blessed to welcome little Maggie Mae on March 6th, 2015.  

But before I get into what a great birth story you had let me back up 24 hours and tell you what happened leading up to you coming on your own 2 weeks earlier then we expected.  Your mom had been in to see Gretchen earlier in the week who told her you could come any day.  Later that week your mom had been having several contractions and had been told to come in to see Gretchen before they got to painful in case she went into labor because your mom's labor can be very sudden and her family has a history of going very quickly.  So we made our way into Gretchen's office who checked your mom and said...'You are definately having a contraction right now' and then said 'I think this baby is coming today and don't want you to go home but rather stay close in downtown and walk around and see if that makes you go into labor quicker'  I asked what are we waiting for or looking for to know when to go to the hospital and she said 'if your contractions are 5 minutes apart check in to the hospital'.

Your mom and I headed down to the Harmon's grocery story in downtown SLC and started doing laps.  I told your mom that I had wanted to prepare to run the 5k this year in Centerville's 4th of July and she was just starting me off on that journey.  After walking for an hour we headed to the hospital because your mom was having contractions every 3 minutes.  Upon checking in they checked your mom and said...you need to walk more...ugh are you KIDDING ME!

 They left us to walk the floors and at first your mom was...let's just say she wasn't happy.  She was tired, pregnant and ready to deliver.  We started doing more laps around labor and delivery and I tried to encourage your mom and said "you're doing great babes"...well your mom gave me such a look I realized that she had heard me wrong and when I had said "your'e doing great babes" she had heard "you are a giant whale and can't do anything right".  I quickly ducked my head and kept walking.  Round and round we went...your mom's anger slowly raising because she had done everything they asked and yet they were telling us you weren't ready and she knew you were.  After a few hours of walking and a reprimand from Gretchen we were sent home and by this point I was PISSED.  I was pissed because Gretchen who had told us to come told us we shouldn't have and told your mom that she wasn't having contractions after she had just told us she was...granted she was in a stressful C-section delivery of another patient at the time but to see your mom in tears in that bed broke my heart.  We left the hospital vowing that we would have the baby in our bathtub at home before we came back to the hospital.  You mom had an appointment on the 6th to have her membranes stripped and she called and cancelled resigned that you would come on your due date and we would be okay with that.  When we left the hospital your mom continued to have bad contractions all night but they stopped after some time and she was able to come to bed.

The next day we had to pick up the pieces and move on...we had things to do and work to get to.  Your mom had run up to your Aunt Becki's to go to a garage sale and got out of the car and said...I think my water broke.  Becki looked down and said...unless you just wet your pants your water just broke.  So your mom called me and back into the hospital we went.  I was skeptical and didn't want to get sent home again and in the elevator as we rode up to Labor and Delivery said..."are you sure"...your mom moved the blanket she was holding in front of her to show me she was literally dripping out a little rain storm all over the elevator floor.  Sure enough her water broke and they checked us back into the hospital into the very room where we delivered Molly.  Gretchen was short at first with us giving us a "well you got what you wanted attitude" but warmed up after realizing we wern't making this up.  The funny thing is, your mom's contractions completely stopped after her water broke...nothing after two days of non stop there was nothing...so they gave her pitocin and we waited.  Around midnight they came in and woke us both up and said...you're ready.

As we waited your mom put on some make-up to look her best in photos.

 This whole time I had been subdued about this birth.  I thought it was the disappointment of being sent home and the false starts and everything else but I wasn't as giddy.  I soon learned why...your mom started to push and immediately Gretchen put her hand on your head and said..."slow down mom" and your mom pushed a little more and you literally shot out and into Gretchens arms...and I mean shot out and water went everywhere so that I had to jump back to not get splashed.  You were perfect with a full head of hair and a pink little body.  Your cord was really short so that they could barely set you on your mom's lower stomach until they cut it and we realized this is why you were so low the whole pregnancy.

  

We were so happy and yet I waited...I waited for that dang placenta to come because this is where everything had gone wrong with Molly.  Within minutes your mom delivered the placenta without any problems and we were in the clear and were left alone with you to do some skin on skin time.  At this point...something broke in me and I cried.  I hadn't realized how much stress I had been holding in, how much fear that things wouldn't go okay and that I would lose your mom.  You had changed the memories from that room from bad ones to good and I cried with releif to have you in the arms of your healthy mom.  Welcome to our family you beautiful girl...

February Service...Heart Attack!

Anna and I were happy to see the new year come this year.  2014 was a very hard year for us...we had two miscarriages last year (one at 3 months and the other much shorter), we lost Anna's older brother to suicide. The trials were hard and at times we felt like putting up our hands and saying no more Lord we can't take it.  But looking back we realize how much empathy we learned this year and we also learned what it meant to be served by others and the kindnesses that were shown us.  Those that meant the most were the unsolicited acts of kindness where people just acted without saying "What can we do" like the Plaiziers who heard by accident that we had the first miscarriage at 3 months and showed up on our doorstep with a plate of brownies and big hugs or Anna opening the door one day to find a bowl of hot soup and rolls for her and the kids with coloring books and a movie from Amy White.  We committed to show more love to those around us.  I heard a quote the other day that said "Your mess is your message" and I loved it.  How perfect it was to describe that your trials really shape who you are and what you learn.  My mess is my message and it grew a lot in 2014 of which I have complete gratitude for now.

Anna fell into a deep depression after her brother killed himself in October and I had been praying about how to help bring her out of the darkness that was surrounding her.  I decided I would give her a gift for Christmas that would carry on throughout the entire year in 2015.  Let me explain a little back story here...Last year I gave Anna a year of dates...each month I had a preplanned prepaid date planned for us to do and each month she would open an envelope and we would go on the date...it was my way to give her my time.  This year I thought I would do something similar but instead of a date I thought what would be the best way to help her out of depression and I thought the prophets always teach us to focus on others and we will see depression dissipate so after much prayer I prepared 12 acts of service we would do, 1 each month, as a family and sealed each one in an envelope that we would open on the first FHE of the month.  In this way we would be giving our time to others.  I prayed that Anna would be open to this and that it wouldn't seem like another thing on her list that was already weighing her down.  Slowly Anna has come out of the dark and is back in the light and thankfully a week before Christmas she came home from church and said..."I got the clearest impression that we need to serve more in 2015 today"...I said a silent prayer of gratitude to my Father in Heaven for softening her heart.  Our first act of service was to go to the temple, which we did, and serve those who couldn't serve themselves while Anna still is able to go to the temple before Maggie (the name we have chosen for our new baby) comes in March.  

Each year we choose a theme for the year that we hope to adopt into all of our family activities.  This year we have chosen D&C 4:2 "O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength..."  We have since found out that it is also the Youth theme for 2015 which is fitting as I am in YM.  I'm really excited to see what experiences we have this year and how it changes us as a couple and also our girls and I hope that the 12 acts will be something we carry on for the rest of our lives.

As mentioned above for our January 'Act of service' we went to the temple.  For February we decided to Heart Attack some neighbors who meant a lot to us and who are always a great support to us and our girls.  Here was the card when Anna opened it...

So we sat down with our girls and cut out hearts and the girls loved adding their special touch to each heart coloring frantically to make sure each heart had its own unique abstract design.  We put on our coats and crept out into the darkness and across the street to the Echols door and plastered their door with hearts.

The girls were so proud of sneaking up to doors and not getting caught.  We next went over to Alexanders (Gma Marilynn and Gpa Sherm) who our girls just adore and look up to.  

We often find them sneaking over there when they are on their back porch and just hanging out with them in the summertime...here is a photo with Sherm from last summer.

Don't you love this photo...you can see the love they have for him in their faces...we are blessed to be surrounded by such great friends and neighbors.

New Year...Let's start it off with a party!

 So 2015 has begun and with it a recommitment to writing down our memories.  You can always tell when the holidays begin because my blog stops as I focus on family and on getting my family year in review book together to give Anna for Christmas.

With the new year we hosted Sophie's very first friend birthday party.  As her birthday is right after Christmas we thought we would give it a few weeks before hosting it...we also had a ton of family stuff going on every weekend as well from Amy (Anna's sister) blessing her baby and our nephew Parker Roundy getting baptised.  Sophie invited her friends...which are a lot...and then was upset that her cousin Tyler (who is 17) wasn't invited because after all he is her friend too.  This is a great photo of this beautiful social little lady reining supreme in her element among her friends.

We had her 4th birthday be themed around Ice Cream. Here is her invitation...

The idea behind the Ice Cream party I will admit was selfish on my part.  I have wanted to make this cake for a long time and this was my opportunity to actually make it.  They are actually cupcakes frosted to look like ice cream (hopefully it is obvious that is what they are supposed to be).

 We played ice cream themed games like pin the scoop on the ice cream cone.   Gotta love Molly whose attention was watching with wrap attention waiting her turn.

   Sophie sat like a queen on her throne opening gift after gift...it got a lot ridiculous after awhile.  

 I am writing the gifts that she got...not to rub in how spoiled she is because trust me we are already embarressed by the shear amount of gifts she has gotten this year...but because I thought it would be fun for her to look back on it and see the types of toys/games etc. that were popular when she was 4.

A Disney Princess coloring book with water color paints
Disney Jr. Playing cards
Disney Princess clip on dresses (Ariel and Rapunzel)
Little Mermaid Treasure search game
Hello Kitty make-up kit
Hello Kitty matching game
My Little Ponies (Shutterfly and Princess Celesete)
A Robot Dog
2 Loopsy Dolls (small figurines)
Paint your own butterfly magnets

SPOILED I TELL YOU!  SPOILED!

Next came singing happy birthday and blowing out the candles.  She is a pro at this and as always basked in the audience she had.

Happy Birthday to our little lady.  We love you and don't know what we would do without your spunk in our life.