Where is my window!

Ok…what a week.  I’m going to try and keep this positive as it has been…well let’s just say it has been a week and sometimes if I can put it in writing I can then start to see the good and the blessings hidden in the mire.  To start off this past Saturday we had my Cousin Diane’s son getting married and wanted to represent at the wedding since my parents are gone.  So Anna and I stopped everything to get ready for the reception and we packed the kids in the car and headed to Brigham City in the middle of a blizzard.  About 1 1/2 miles outside of Perry traffic came to a complete stop and we were running out of fuel very quickly.  So there we sit in a complete stand still and my phone rings and it is Ross (Diane’s Brother who was in town from Florida).  Ross was calling to see if he could stop by on Sunday to see us while he is in town for the wedding and Anna said "well we are almost to Perry for the reception"...Ross paused and then said "ummmm that was last night” CAN YOU BELIEVE WE DID THAT!  So I had him pass the phone to Diane and apologized profusely and she said if we were that close to stop by her house and see everyone (Betty, Ross, Michael and his family and Breanne and her family) so we did, although it took us another 1/2 hour to get there because the road was solid ice and there were a ton of accidents.  It was great to see everyone even though we are such idiots and luckily Rick and Kaylene called us because they were on their way and we told them how dumb we all are to get the day wrong.  We hung out with everyone and headed home...well did I mention the ICE.  The roads were awful and got HORRIFIC after Farmington.  Just from Farmington to Centerville we saw 7 wrecks 2 of which were cars that had rolled and were tire up with people standing around them...needless to say it was very stressful but luckily Anna and I said a prayer before we left...SOOOOOO Blessing #1 The Lord watching over us in a horrible ice storm to see us home safe.
 
I read a great quote this week that made me think of my Mom and Dad scared in Serbia and why they are doing it.  It is by Russell M. Nelson who said “The decision to serve a mission will shape the spiritual destiny of the missionary, his or her spouse, and their posterity for generations to come.  A desire to serve is a natural outcome of one’s conversion, worthiness, and preparation”.  What a powerful statement and we will surely be shaped as will my girls by my parent’s courage and their willingness to put the Lord first. 

So I have been having a terrible year at my job while it also has been my most successful and lucrative of years ever…how can that be.  Well I have learned that while financial gains are so important being valued, trusted and heard are equally as important and sometimes even more so but I don’t want to hash out my work stress for all my posterity to someday read.  Let me just say that B and I have been praying for a couple of years now for the Lord to open windows where it seems doors have been slammed and sealed shut so that I can move to where I am supposed to be as we both feel it is no longer here at the Chamber.  It is interesting when you are struggling in one area it seems to leak into every other area of your life affecting it for the bad…I almost envision the old cartoons with the black mist sweeping in over the valley.  Add to this the stress of carrying three mortgages, refinishing a house and prepping another to sell, Bishopric responsibilities and two darling but difficult girls under 2 years old and let’s just say we are overwhelmed and so very tired.  I wish I could say that it was the other way around for me and that the good and the light seemed to fight back and at times they do but I have told B before I feel like the Israelites wandering in the desert who so quickly doubted the Lord after his many miracles.  How do I get the faith of Nephi to move forward with certainty?  Anyways, this past Sunday was Ward Conference and our Stake President spoke.  In his talk he referenced the story of Alma under the oppression of Amulon and how the Lord didn’t take away his burdens but made them stronger that they were able to bear them.  I realized that the Lord has made me stronger as there was a time I didn’t think I could bear what I now have on my shoulders at work (I don’t know if it is stronger or just worn out from fighting the same fight over and over and giving in that nothing will change…again I warned you at the beginning this may be a downer).   I also realized that although I am able to carry the burden and trial I am still praying as Alma did for the deliverance that ultimately came.  I know deep in the marrow of my bones that deliverance is on its way I only hope that I can last with faith until the time comes.  You begin to wonder in circumstances like this if you aren’t doing enough…praying hard enough or reading your scriptures like you should.

So there you have it…OH and Happy Valentine’s Day!  Can you smell the roses amidst the thorns?