Joshua ended up coming early but Anna had sensed that he would all along. This pregnancy was a hard one on Anna making her sicker then she has ever been with the other three but at the same time I feel and I think she would agree that she felt connected to little Joshua and felt that he was guiding her. In one way that he was guiding her was on the birth. Anna had a very spiritual moment in which she felt very strongly that she should go natural with this boy, which goes against everything she had ever felt or prepared for. She contacted a Doula (which is a fancy way of saying midwife) to assist her as she made this last minute change. I was terrified of her going natural. Would it complicate things? Would it negatively affect our relationship as she lashed out in pain, directed at me, only to have me take it personal and withdraw? Would this be one more birth story I didn’t like telling? I was so worried that I asked my dad in private to give me a blessing before we went in to help me be grounded and have the spirit with me, but more on that later.
Anna had been having contractions for 24 hours but as we knew was the case, because of our experience with Maggie, this didn’t mean much. We knew it was going to happen in the next 24 hours so we asked my parents to spend the night in case we needed to go in and in case the birth went quick because I wasn’t going to deliver a baby on the side of the road.not gonna happen. Around 1 in the morning Anna came and got me and said “it’s time they are 4 minutes apart” and so we trekked into the hospital and I wondered why is it always the middle of the night. Is this just God’s way of saying yeah get used to it with a baby you won’t sleep again anyways. Our doula, Rachel, arrived shortly after and they checked Anna in but said there wasn’t much progress and they would wait until the morning to break her water. We said a prayer and the spirit was so strong and the gratitude we felt for this little man that was about to be in our arms was palpable. I wondered what he thought of me having seen me from the other side and been able to compare me to the perfection that is Our Heavenly Father. I wondered if I was cut out for the role of raising him and was as happy as we were that he was coming to our little family.
Throughout the night Anna continued to have contractions but nothing awful or too painful. We loved our Doula because she is LDS and very spiritual and had told us how she often feels like she is a veil worker escorting these spirits from the spirit world to ours. Isn’t that the best image that you don’t always place with birth. She said that although we are so excited to have these little babies in our arms we need to stop and think that they are saying goodbye and possibly getting a blessing of their own on the other side and to let them have that time. I just love that thought. In one of the quieter moments of the night our she said “I feel a male presence in the room which is odd because at times I have felt a presence in other births but it never is a male presence.” I immediately thought it was Tate our 5th little baby up in heaven who we have had experiences telling us to not forget him saying goodbye to Josh and comforting his mom in this moment. Before I could express this thought Anna said “It’s Tate and I have felt him close for awhile now”. WOW isn’t the spirit something.
Gretchen, our doctor and midwife, came in around 7 am and broke Anna’s water but no water came out. Josh’s head it was determined was so low it was blocking the water. This is where things got intense. The contractions kicked in and got harder. Anna tried to breath but the pain was overwhelming. She did snap and get short with people but never with me. Instead she focused on me and having me close and near. At one point she said, “I can’t do this get me an epidural” she started to apologize and my only thought was how sad that she feels like a failure when she has endured so much. Our doula said, let’s have you checked just to make sure you have time for an epidural and so Gretchen checked her and said “Sorry Anna it’s time and there is no time for an epidural but you can do this!”
With all of our other babies Anna has pushed 2 times max and the baby has come out. Well Josh, not so much. She pushed and she pushed, she shook from pain and exhaustion. She pushed and pushed and finally we started to see his head only to have the contraction end and him disappear again. Finally at 8:04 am Joshua joined our family and we realized why it was so painful and so hard. Joshua was born posterior, the most painful way to deliver and the cord was wrapped around his body 3 times which prevented him from turning. Had Anna been on an epidural they probably would have taken him via C-section.
She had done it, he was here. But we still had to have that dang placenta come out and after Molly’s birth this is always a concern. 10 minutes passed and no placenta. 20 minutes and no placenta and Gretchen started pulling which caused tremendous pain for Anna and she begged for mercy but Gretchen said “we can’t have a repeat of Molly’s birth we have to get this placenta out”. Well, remember how I told you I got a blessing before coming into the hospital. In that blessing my dad reminded me that I had the priesthood and that I would be able call on that priesthood to help me in moments of distress. I remembered this and it stuck out and in this moment I knew I needed to call on it. I had my hands on Anna’s legs as I was helping support them and stop them from shaking. In that moment of Gretchen’s fear filled words I looked down at my hands and I said in my mind (knowing He would hear and her body would obey) “By the power of the holy Melchizedek Priesthood which I hold I lay my hands on you and command the placenta to release” and closed it in Jesus name. In that moment, that very moment the placenta gave way and came out in one fluid motion and I knew why I had that blessing and in whom I trusted. Jehovah is generous my little Joshua and we couldn’t be happier to have this little blessing in our lives.
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